It's easy to be grateful when life is beautiful and fun. Can you find the good, though, even when things are challenging? That is the real test, I think, in life and the real secret to true joy and long-lasting self-fulfillment. You need to be able to find happiness in the little things in order to truly unlock your potential for your future.
I watched the movie About Time the other day (yes, I am very late to the party). The movie wasn't my favorite, to be honest. I was in the mood for a romance/heavy drama, and it just didn't quite deliver. For me, The Time Traveler's Wife delivers a much stronger, dramatic look at time travel and romance. However, I did love the message that life doesn't have to be perfect. The main character learns that perfecting every mistake or bad moment in your life really isn't living. He learns that you just have to be looking for the perfect, beautiful, small moments even in the middle of disaster. The movie focuses on the idea that even the worst day has moments to be grateful for--we just get so focused on how busy we are that we stop looking for those times.
Our lives are always going to be messy and complicated. Most of us have learned that truth in adulthood, and especially in the past few crazy years. Still, the movie reminds us that the true key to happiness isn't accumulating more things or being perfect at everything. The real key to finding lasting fulfillment really is about mindset. If you can focus on the blessings, no matter how all, you start to see life as a gift and not a curse.
I know it sounds too easy, too simple. I know it sounds too good to be true. Still, since watching the movie, I've tried it out. I've focused on finding small, beautiful moments, even in the tough times. An extra five minutes on the couch with my puppy. A song I really love. An inspiring podcast episode that inspired. Life is still confusing and hard. It always will be. But when you start focusing on finding the good, you realize there really is a lot of good to be found.
So today, I hope you can find something small to be happy about. A funny comment from your spouse. A delicious lunch. A cup of coffee in your favorite mug. Snuggles with a cat before work. An outfit that makes you feel awesome.
Let's not just talk about gratitude one day a year. Let's start looking for it on a mundane Wednesday or a random, rainy Monday.
What little thing made you happy today? Tell me below once you find it.
Stay safe and be true,
Live your passion fearlessly.
I have watched Bohemian Rhapsody twice now in the past week....not because I'm a Queen fan, but because I got so inspired by the passion of Freddie Mercury.
He knew what he wanted and took so many risks to achieve it. When he was doing well...he dreamed bigger. And then he dreamed bigger again. Even when people thought he was crazy, he kept dreaming. He kept finding the confidence to chase his passion. He loved life big, outrageously, and to his own liking.
Certainly, there were struggles along the way. Identity struggles. Bad path struggles. Loneliness. Still, he spent his life knowing what his passion was : performing. And even if he got sidetracked, he didn't stop.
I think we all could learn a thing or two from Bohemian Rhapsody....chase your dreams. Dream bigger than life. Punch a hole in the sky.
If you are feeling lost or letting the doubts creep in, I think you should check out this movie. Even if you aren't a musician or even if you feel like you're never going to reach his level....watch it. Because I think we can all learn the most important lesson: confidence in your passions helps you become a legend.
Have you seen the movie? What did you think?
Perfection is an illusion. Imperfection is beautiful
It's something I've battled with my whole life. I've always been a dreamer, a go-getter, a goal setter. I've always fought hard against living an ordinary life...which meant I never wanted to be ordinary.
I wanted the 100% on every test.
I wanted to master my goals and rise to the top, no matter the cost.
I told myself being a workaholic would guarantee success, and success guaranteed happiness.
However, in my 30s, I started to realize that you will never, ever, be perfect at everything. And sometimes, when you reach that highest goal, you'll realize that happiness comes from within not from an award or title or success.
These days, I'm a little nicer to myself. I take breaks. I don't feel the need to work all the time. I don't feel the need to be perfect at my hair and makeup and fitness goals and friendships and social gatherings and work and everything else on our plates.
I've realized that I need to pick and choose my priorities based on what I need at the moment. I've realized you don't have to be perfect at everything to be happy.
Life is a balancing act...which isn't easy. Nothing ever is perfectly in balance. But if you let your attention be pulled in 100s of ways and if you try to achieve perfection in all things, you're going to be burned out, tired, and passionless.
Focus on what matters to you. Not to the media or the industry you're in or the world. To you. Listen to your inner voice. Be still and really listen.
And then, remember that happiness is found within and from living the life you really, truly want and need.
Dear everyone: please stop hating your body
Yesterday, I stared at myself in the mirror after my shower. Naked and vulnerable, I studied my body. My eyes danced over the bulge on my stomach, the cellulite chunks on my legs that were gross. I looked at my chest that was too flat, my arms that jiggled. I shook my head at the eyebrows that were too sparse, a victim of the early 2000s overplucking craze. The eye wrinkles I have now made me curse my twenty-year-old self for not using more eye cream. I looked at my too shiny forehead, the mole I hate, all of the things I notice every single day.
Then I did what so many women do. I headed to my closet and looked for the shorts that weren’t too short so that dimple I hate is covered. I put on the flowy shirt to cover the bulge, the one that isn’t too low cut. I pulled out the fabrics that would cover and tuck and give the illusion that I fit the mold.
Yesterday, I beat myself down for not being the flawless symbol of beauty I strive to be but never quite reach.
So many of us, especially women, get so used to finding the “flaws” in ourself that we forget what else is there, too. Most importantly, we forget to see the warrior woman in our eyes.
So today, I looked in the mirror and challenged myself to quiet the inner critic. I challenged myself to see the strong woman in my eyes who loves and feels and believes and dreams and gives. I told myself to stop covering up who I am.
Is it easy? Hell no. But so many of us need to remember we are more than a mole or a bra size or a cellulite chunk. We are more not in spite of it, but because of it. Every bump and freckle and line makes us who we are today. Stop mourning for yesterday’s body. Stop worrying about what tomorrow will bring. Let your confidence shine. Smile in the mirror at the woman you have become because life is beautiful, and so are you.
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USA TODAY Bestselling Thriller author with Avon Books (HarperCollins), The Widow Next Door, The Diary of a Serial Killer's Daughter, and other creepy thriller books