Please Remember
You can be anything you want At any point. Even when it feels Like you are stuck In a monotonous cycle Of “Yes, Sirs,” and Glued to the Track you’ve already Chugged down, You are never trapped. It’s never too late to Dream new dreams, To adapt the old ones Into newer versions That fit who you’ve become. Because Girl, we’re All becoming and Changing. Our dreams Are fleeting visions, Targets to aim For but to never Swear by. It’s okay to change Your mind Your heart Your vision Your destination. And even when The bystanders tell you The path ahead is too Perfect to abandon, It’s okay to veer left or Right or up or Down. Because they think they can See what you see but They can’t. You are capable of Changing your dream, Your mind, Your situation. You can be Whatever your heart Wants to be. You can hurdle over The roadblocks. You can turn your map around. You can traipse through mud And weeds and past Wildlife if you have to. You are stronger Than you even know. You are not stuck. You are not planted, Seared into the ground. You are free-flowing, You are powerful, You are going somewhere. So take the class. Make the move. Send the application. Dream the dream. Dream it again. And again if you have to. Find that thing That lights you up From within, and Let that light be The lantern to lead You when things Feel impossible. Because you Can Overcome impossible.
1 Comment
Maybe it happened in high school when that essay analyzing Lord of the Flies stared you in the face and all you could contribute was a blinking cursor on a blank screen. Or perhaps it struck before you even set the pen on the paper to write your first novel. The idea was in your head and you had beautiful visions of the success you would reach–yet for one reason or another, writing the first words paralyzed you with fear.
Perhaps you’re a seasoned novelist who just can’t seem to meet your word count today. Or maybe you’re an article writer who has the idea but can’t find the flow to the words to make sense. Whoever you are, as a writer, I know one thing for sure–the dreaded writer’s block has come for you at one point or another. It’s dug its sickly claws into your skin and, perched on your shoulder, shouted the lies all writers dread hearing. You are not good enough. You’ll never write anything worthy again. You can’t do this. And even though we know writer’s block is to be expected, sometimes, we let those lies become chanted truths in our minds, stunting our words further. We let writer’s block become the excuse keeping us from greatness, the wall between us and sharing our words. As a writer, I myself have frequently found myself in a bout of writer’s block. I’ve read books about how to overcome it. I’ve taken the walks. I’ve tried just sitting down and writing. I’ve done all of the tips and tricks from the masters of the craft. Still, as the years have passed, I’ve realized that for me, there is one clear answer to breaking out of writer’s block. It isn’t an exercise regime or a magical equation. It’s, quite simply, a very basic question I ask myself. The magical question with the power of the universe–or at least the power to break you out of writer’s block–is this: What do you truly want to say? That’s it. I know, you’re probably wondering why you read this article to get a basic question that really isn’t special. But the thing is, it is special–the power rests, however, in the reflection for yourself. What are you feeling called to say? Because if you focus on what your writing voice wants to spread into the world, I guarantee the block will be removed. If you focus on how magical it is that your words have the power to impact others and that you get the opportunity in writing to raise your voice, suddenly it doesn’t become paralyzing anymore. It becomes empowering. Notice what the question isn’t. It isn’t:
The question is: What do you truly want to say? What is that thing on your heart plaguing you, the thing worth raising your voice for? What message is worth imparting to the universe? I think this question can be tricky because sometimes it doesn’t seem to fit the writer’s mold we’re all placed into. We might be in the middle of a manuscript we or those in the industry are certain will be a screaming hit–and then writer’s block hits. We’re stuck in the plot, the characters aren’t working, and it all feels like trash. When this is happening, it might seem asinine to ask what we want to say. Because maybe what’s on our heart, what we want to say is about relationships or animals or how to do your eyeliner. Maybe it has nothing to do with the science fiction novel we’re trying to finish, which can make us feel guilty. The thing is, despite all of the weight on your shoulders and the words of wisdom about how to tank your career, what you want to say should carry more weight. Giving power to the words on your heart is what re-ignites the writer’s spirit in your soul. It’s what gives you the inspiration and reminds you what writing is all about. Sure, going viral is great and writing the best book of your career is also a plus. Furthermore, sometimes the dreaded deadline dictates that we sometimes write about things we aren’t exactly passionate about at the moment. Nonetheless, I think sometimes the pull of social media, marketing, and all the hats we have to wear as writers can detract from why we start writing in the first place–to raise our voices. To upend the words on our hearts and share them with the world in the hopes they might reach someone and impact them. When you write from a place of passion, the writing becomes easier. Thus, even if you are on a deadline or in the middle of a novel when writer’s block strikes, I challenge you to set that piece aside. Maybe the problem isn’t that you are incapable of writing or that the words won’t flow. Perhaps the real problem is that there’s something else on your heart you want to say. And when you write this thing, whatever it is, maybe it won’t even see the light of day. Maybe it’s just enough for you to get those words off your chest and onto the page. Maybe it’s enough to re-ignite your passion for words by simply reconnecting them with your heart and spirit. In my high school writing class I teach, we talk a lot about the purpose of writing. I always start by asking my level one class: Why do we write? I’ll often get textbook answers about how we write to persuade, entertain, and inform. These are true statements, of course, but I always push them further. Why do we really write? What’s the purpose? Eventually, one of them will spew out something along the lines of: to make others feel something. That’s what I’m always looking for. Because whether you’re writing an article about technology, a Buzzfeed list, a fantasy novel, an article about a serious topic, or an essay about earthworms, your job as a writer is to make your reader feel something. To do that well, I would argue that you, too, have to feel something. So sometimes, when writing isn’t coming easy, we must ask ourselves: Am I honoring what’s on my heart? Am I writing in a way that says what I really want to say? And if the answer is no, we sometimes must take time from our busy schedules to honor that. We must take time to write what we really want to say, even if it’s just for a moment. Only then, I would argue, can the block be lifted and we can write our way into our successes, whatever that may be. Lindsay (L.A.) Detwiler is a USA Today Bestselling thriller author and high school English teacher. Her USA Today Bestseller, The Widow Next Door, is published with HarperCollins UK. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband, their six rescue cats, and their Great Dane, Edmund, who appears in all of her current works. Hello and welcome!
If you're new in this space, I'm USA Today Bestselling thriller and horror author L.A. Detwiler. I'm a high school English teacher by day and a total bookworm by night. I'm married to my junior high sweetheart, and we have six rescued cats as well as a very wild Great Dane puppy named Edmund. I started writing in the sweet romance genre (I wrote my first book during college), but a few years ago, I found my writing home in thriller/horror/all things creepy. I'm a huge fan of writers like Shirley Jackson, Stephen King, and Poe, and they heavily influence my writing. I write books that focus a lot on the female perspective and emotional horror. I love to play with the idea of unreliable narrators and the concept of villains. My Great Dane Edmund shows up in all of my books (and before that, it was my mastiff, Henry). My first thriller, The Widow Next Door, hit the USA Today Bestseller's list. It's published with HarperCollins UK/One More Chapter. The audio book is actually coming out this spring, and I'm so excited! I also have a popular serial killer's book called The Diary of a Serial Killer's Daughter. It's the winner of the bronze medal for Reader's Favorite, and I'm so proud of it. I'm a coffee addict, a Netflix binger, and I buy way too much at Ulta. I live in a small town in Pennsylvania where I love sitting in my hammock reading all the books. I'd love to hear about you! Tell me where you're from, what you do for a living, and what books you love. Stay Safe and Be True, L.A. Detwiler One. Star.
The Bad review taunted me. Hours and hours of hard work, of fighting with the images in my head, of putting down words despite my own self-consciousness. Hundreds of dollars on a cover, thousands of pep-talks. Chocolates by the fistful (I’m a stress eater) and wine to soothe my nerves. All for what? Apparently one single star. A few years ago, when my debut thriller got picked up by Avon Books/Harpercollins, I thought it was finally my time. I thought all of the tears over bad reviews, rejections, bad book sales, and empty book signings would be over. When that debut hit the USA Today Bestseller’s list, I thought for sure my hard work had finally paid off and I would reap success. I could finally tuck away that self-doubt that had been my nemesis for years, the voice always huskily whispering to me that I wasn’t enough. But here’s the thing, dear writer—the self-doubt never dies. It’s always gnawing on you from within. Sure, hitting a list or scoring a sought-after publishing deal might squash it for a while. But it’s always waiting for the right moment—another rejection, a bad review, or a bad sales month. Then, it rears its ugly head once more and you realize the harsh truth. No matter what you do, self-doubt will always find a way back in. More often than not, the imposter syndrome and the feeling of not being good enough will worm its way into your brain at the exact moment you feel like quitting it all anyway. Thus, after my third and fourth thriller manuscripts were flat out rejected, my self-doubt and imposter syndrome crept back in. I thought for sure I was done. I felt like a one-hit wonder, a washed up, terrible writer. I let the self-doubt monster within convince me of what all writers perhaps fear the most—I wasn’t a good writer after all. This funk went on for several months until finally, thanks to my husband and a long look inside, I told myself to get back up. I was a writer. I had a voice I needed to share and stories to tell. I was meant to keep writing. Thus, I flung myself into the world of self-publishing. I decided I would stand confidently and be my own supporter. I would skip all the gatekeepers in the publishing world. I had learned enough to spread my words and to tell the stories I wanted to tell. I wouldn’t cave to pressures to write the norm. I would write my stories that stepped out of genres and out of the confines of the publishing world. I would stand tall and proud in my words. So I did just that—I self-published those rejected manuscripts and put them out into the world. And it’s had its ups for sure. I’ve won an award on my first self-published book. I’ve gotten enough positive reviews to keep the self-doubt monster from preying on me. I’ve been able to stand steady in my boots. I’ve even convinced myself that this was the writing path for me all along, that maybe my own journey would inspire others to stop depending on publishers to feel successful. Tonight, though, the monster reared its ugly head out of nowhere. As my latest self-published book has just hit Netgalley, I’ve been staring and waiting to see what others think. Perhaps this is the problem—I have not yet gained the confidence in myself to ignore what others think and to only hear my own voice. I am still looking for validation. Because as I sit here staring at my first review on Netgalley, it’s a one-star review. And as I study the scathing words and the knocks on my writing, I’d like to say it doesn’t matter. I’d like to tell you dear writer, that I’m going to ignore it, shake it off. That I don’t care what others think of my book, let alone one person. That would all be a lie, though. So I’m going to tell you the truth. It hurts. It stings. It sucks. And the self-doubt monster is now consuming all those lists I’ve hit, those achievements I’ve had, those successes. It’s gobbling them up one by pretty one and spitting out the remnants of a writing career I was once proud of. It’s convincing me with its confident stance that I am a failure, a nobody, that I never really was that good. It hurts like hell because, like so many writers, I’ve felt called to this. I’ve always wanted this. I’ve hung the past six years on this impossible dream. I’ve listened to the podcasts and written the positive sticky notes to tell myself to just keep going. I’ve talked the talk of finding confidence and celebrating your achievements and never backing down. Yet that one review has slaughtered all my faith and has made me truly feel like just quitting, like it was all for nothing. That’s the truth of how I’m feeling. I am devastated. I feel like a loser, like an absolute terrible writer. Why write this, then? Why spread my morose feelings of quitting and failure? Because I think so many times in the writing world, the loneliest part of it all is feeling like you’re the only one struggling. It’s bad marketing to talk about failures and bad reviews, we’re told. People don’t want to hear about your struggles. That’s probably true. But when, as writers, we stop talking about the hard times, the problem is that we set a dangerous precedent for our peers—we make them feel like everything should be perfectly rosy for them, too. We convince them that no one else is crying over a review or feeling like a failure or wondering if they even are talented at all. We make them feel even more alone than any scathing review could. So tonight, as I wiped away tears and the painful sting of failure, I write this with one hope: That somewhere out there, another writer who is suffering, too, will find peace in knowing they are not the only one. I hope that by sharing these raw feelings someone out there can understand that list or no list, published or not, we all face hardships in our self-confidence as writers. We all get rejected and bad reviews. We all think about quitting. We all, in short, feel like shit because someone hates our work. But then, because we are writers to our core, we get back up. We put pen to paper again. We let our voice sing on the page once more, even at the great risk of having others critique us harshly again. Because, even in the middle of feeling like a failure or like quitting, we know that there are worse things than failing—and that’s to silence our writing voices forever. So I carry on—sub-par writing, clunky verbiage, forgettable characters, and all. #keepwriting #youarenotafailure A year ago, I was getting ready to turn 30...and not quite sure what the new year had in store for me. In fact, I was terrified to make the shift out of my 20s.
I had accomplished a lot of big dreams (getting my books published, writing stories that reached all sorts of readers). Still, looking at 30 was terrifying. Where would life go? And what was next? One year ago, I was also feeling a little lost in the writing world. I'd told the stories I wanted to tell in romance. I was in a rut, and I wasn't sure why I was feeling frustrated. I knew I wanted to write something different, something plot-heavy. I just wasn't sure if I could. My husband encouraged me to chase those crazy dreams. He helped me talk through my fears. He helped me find my thriller writing voice. I'm so thankful he did because now, in a few short days, the story that started as a pipe dream will be in the hands of readers everywhere with a publisher beyond my wildest dreams. Last year, if you would have told me my debut thriller would be releasing with Avon Books, HarperCollins, I would have never believed you. I would have never believed that my 30th year would take me to new dreams, ones I never even dared to dream for myself. Most of all, I would have never believed that the creepy widow who was haunting my thoughts would be in a book called The Widow Next Door, would hit the USA Today Bestseller's list. So much can change in a year, yet some things stay the same. My love for the man who pushes me when I'm too afraid to chase my goals, who supports me and pulls me up when I fall down, who teaches me to dream big, is still as strong as ever. Thank you to everyone who has held my hand, listened to my fears, and pre-ordered The Widow Next Door as I step into this big, new venture. Thank you to all of those who gave the creepy widow from Bristol Lane a chance. And thank you to my husband, my biggest cheerleader. I love you, forever. Stay Safe and Be True, L.A. Detwiler |
L.A. DetwilerUSA TODAY Bestselling Thriller author with Avon Books (HarperCollins), The Widow Next Door, The Diary of a Serial Killer's Daughter, and other creepy thriller books Categories
All
|