You Don't Always Have to say you're okay

Getting Real About Mental States and Wellness

Don’t tell me you’re okay when you’re not. 
Don’t paint on the fake smile that hurts the crevices of your mouth when you feel like you can barely hold it together.
Don’t nod and say you agree when you don’t. 
Don’t try to point out the glitter when really, your deep-rooted wounds are bleeding.
Don’t feel like you have to tell me you’re okay when you’re not.

So many times, society demands us to put on a mask, to hide the dark truths of ourselves and of humanity. We smile for the camera. We put the rosy update on social media. We paint on the smile and take our voice up an octave in the professional setting because that’s what we have to do. That’s what nice girls do…they never make someone uncomfortable with realities or truths that might be less than beautiful. They tuck away the dark colored paints and only display the sunshine landscape.

But I’m here to say….don’t tell me you’re okay when you’re not. Because I’m a safe space to lean when things feel shitty. I’m a listening ear when your world is falling apart or you’re barely holding it together. I don’t need you to pretend you’re okay when you’re not. I don’t need you to smile through the pain.

I need you to be real, to be honest, even when it’s hard. I want you to cry if you need to. I want you to tell me you’re horrible when you are. Because I think there are too many women out there who propagate this ridiculous lie that women always have to be just fine. 

Life is hard, and, in truth, we’re always just seeing a tiny glimpse of who someone else is. But I think, especially as women, if we can bust up the ridiculous notion we must always smile, must always say we’re okay even when we’re not, must put on the high heels and just muscle through…if we can say no to that facade and, instead, be courageous enough to be honest…well, that’s when we can change things. That’s when we can save things. Because I think so many of us, behind the scenes, are breaking, unhappy, struggling BECAUSE we’re forced to lie about how we are.

So don’t tell me you’re okay or great or fine if you’re not. Tell me you’re shitty. Tell me you’re tired. Tell me you’re breaking. Tell me you need a minute to cry or tell me you don’t want to talk because life is too hard. Tell me the truth…and I think if we can all vow to do just that, we’ll find a realer world, where no one is under the impression that they’re alone in their struggles.

So don’t tell me you’re okay if you’re not. And I’ll do the same.

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