I wish I had known: Reflections on losing my mastiff

​I wish I had known. 

I wish I had known it wouldn't be the huge, flashy moments that I would think about. The ones you are supposed to photograph and remember. The holidays, special occasions, the big adventures. 

I wish I had known that it would be the tiny moments that I would come back to. The summer day when I put my lounge chair in the grass to guard the bunny nest and you slept beside me in the sun. 

The days we ran in the sprinkler or took a walk together. The days we snuggled on the couch watching Beauty and the Beast, eating turkey dinner from The Dream in sweatpants. 

The mornings I kissed that big, squishy nose. The night we went out to look at the meteor shower. 

The small moments. The moments that were the everyday moments. The ones we don't have photos of.

I wish I had known. But I do now. And thanks to you, I soak in those moments a little more. I breathe them in, savor them, take note of them. 

I still miss you, but just know....I still live in those moments all the time. And I am grateful for that.