you're never past your prime. here's why.

How to Embrace Aging

“You’re past your prime.”

Looking in the mirror, this seems to be the story the fine lines, the wrinkles, the less-than-glowy skin seems to support. I stare at the lines that have shown up around my smile, the crinkles by my eyes, and I wonder if maybe it’s true. My best years are gone.

Ever since losing weight this year, my face has changed…and with it, the wrinkles, fine lines, and imperfections that used to be less noticeable have come to the surface. And I’d like to say it doesn’t bother me at all. That I swipe on the lipstick and laugh about the laugh lines. That I see beyond those marks of a well-lived life and still feel beautiful. But that’s not always the case. Society force feeds us a narrative that your youthful glow is to be protected at all costs…and sometimes it’s hard to silence that story, no matter who you are.

It’s tempting to spend money and time trying to paint back on the mask of youth. To go for treatments and buy expensive products and try to fake my way back to my 20s, when my skin always glowed and fine lines weren’t visible. 

But looking in the mirror, after the voice in my head criticizes the lines and tells me I’m on a downward slope now…I appreciate the fact that no, I’m not in my 20s. But I’m thankful for that.

Because that girl in her 20s, sure she had effortlessly glowing skin…but she also had a lot of weight she carried from the opinions of others. She was in a hustle mindset trying to impress, to be who she should be, to chase a life of meaning for everyone but herself. She might have had perfect skin…but she didn’t think so. She still noticed that mole that was annoying or the freckle by her eye she wished would go away. Even then, she didn’t feel beautiful.

So even though society tells us that your prime years are when your skin is flawless or your hair isn’t gray or your body is tight or…fill in the blank….I’m refusing to buy into it. I swipe on my lipstick and recognize that being in your prime isn’t related to how many wrinkles you have or don’t have. It’s about walking through this world, head high, confidence sparkling, because you know you’re living a life that’s completely yours.

It’s, in the words of the Rachel Hollis podcast I listened to the other morning, when you feel “astonishingly alive.” It’s when you realize that the truly beautiful glow comes when you appreciate the woman looking back at you for who she is in this moment.

So I look past the wrinkles in the photo. I look instead at the smile coming from the 30-something who has found a peace that 20-something never had. I turn from the mirror and walk out into the world, knowing that aging is a privilege, and the reward? An inner wisdom that is unshakeable. 

L.A. Detwiler is the USA Today and International bestselling author of numerous titles, including The Widow Next Door with HarperCollins UK. Learn more about her books here.